Platform: Meanness is often attributed to the undeserving, for few groups can fully realize their dream of being pure evil. True meanness is not laughing at or making fun of other people (which we also do, by the way); it is stealing candy from children while pretending to be Santa. FIJI’s live by the motto “like taking candy from a baby.” Any time they see a kid walking around with candy, they don their Christmas costume, take the food away, and eat it in front of them while laughing like a maniacal elf as the child cries alone in a corner. In fact, around lunch time, you will always see FIJI brothers roaming the local playgrounds looking to take away kids’ hard earned lunch money and ruin Christmas forever. They will not stop until every kid runs away drowning in tears and calling for their parents. The brothers of FIJI are truly the meanest men on campus.


Charity – St. Judes:

The mission of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is to advance cures, and means of prevention, for pediatric catastrophic diseases through research and treatment. Consistent with the vision of our founder Danny Thomas, no child is denied treatment based on race, religion or a family’s ability to pay.